The Horseshoe Riots of 1886
And the cowboys got themselves around on a good and trusty horse
But the ground was hard and stony and to get top horse riding speed
They needed expensive shoes of iron to put on them horses feet
But the price of iron was terrible the year the mines was in a flood
They couldn't build no railroad ,the hosses wasn't shod
Them steers they were a mooin, they wasn't rounded up
Them hosses were a neighin, them cowboys was quite stuck
Chorus :
When messing round with cowboys there's two things you just don't do
Don’t mention Brokeback Mountain or stop him buying horse shoes.
Be warned when you’re with cowboys - they're ornery and mean
They care more about their hosses than washin or stayin clean
They wanted to be ridin 'mongst blue grass on the plain
They prefer wide open spaces despite bad cookin and the pain . . . .
... Of ridin day and night and sleepin under stars
They wanted to sing round the campin' fire rather than hangin' round in bars
Them horses were a'hobblin' without shoes upon their hooves
It was all down to the mining bosses and their crafty business moves
They thought they had the cowboys caught by the short and curlies
They didn't count on the cowboys mood - they were up for hurly burly
The cowboys held a meetin, this was sumthin they couldn't stick
And so they started planning the Horse Shoe Riots of 86
The Smithsons and theCrick gang got together in the Diggers Bar
Went out looking for trouble - they didn't have to go far.
The sheriff heard the baying crowd from out in the hills that day
He galloped back, just in time to save his wife, Daisy May.
T’was a nasty riot - a chaotic shoutin’ crowd
They rounded on the Sheriff and voiced grievances out loud
They broke into the whisky house but were stopped by Old man Gates
He said "Don't riot in here too long if you want to still shoot straight"
So they rumbled further down the street as far as the tobacco store
For themselves they took cigars and some cheroots to pay the wh0res.
They broke into the gun shop and rioted through the streets
They broke into the general store and stole the kiddies sweets.
They broke into the clothing store and stole leather gloves and hats
And nice new denim trousers and some Chamois leather chaps.
They smashed up Mary Lou's, the Gamblin House and Bars
Kicked dust over the School house and set fire to railroad cars
They broke in to the wh0rehose and rioted there a while
And when they came out later they was wearin massive smiles
They rioted in the barbers and got a lovely shave
They smashed into the churchyard and rioted among the graves.
At the Cattlemans’ Association they broke up all the chairs
Then rioted at the County Zoo and released a load of bears.
And when they were done rioting and happy to the man
They put their thinking caps on and came up with a plan.
They melted down the bar-room taps, they melted down some pails
They melted down the cattle trough and the bars from Tucson jail.
They rounded up any nails, iron posts and pots and pans
They was rooting round the shootin range for any old tin cans
They took em to the blacksmith an threatened him with force
They made him start a smelting to make shoes for every horse
The forge was kept a roarin, Smithies workin night and day
Meltin down old rakes and hoes and spades and forks for hay
And while this was a happenin, they found the mining bosses
And showed those nasty varmints the state of their poor hosses
The scabs and scars upon their hooves did shame those business men
And everyone who bore witness recalls the tears that were shed then.
Them cowpokes are right contented and the wh0res still turn their tricks
And they all get on well in Tucson now, thanks to the riots of 86.