Ian email to Neil, 8:06  
         
Subject:   Next version of so much fun will be . . . .
..... Rapping, I think, or perhaps a song using the backing about something pointless, maybe hoos and bling or other such urban
nonsense.
A really pappy love song sung punk style?

Neil's thoughts :- Damn, that's a really good idea, Why didn't I think of it ? Quick I'll have to think of a way to scupper it

Neil email to Ian, 8:20

I can easily find a Korg sound for you to rap over, whether it be So Much Fun or not.  The obvious thing would be, as you say, hos and bling, so we should stay away from that.

Maybe a rap about Delia's latest cooking program. It's about making cooking easy and she made a big play on not doing anything of effort herself - she even bought pre-grated cheese (as if she didn't have time to do that herself) :-

She's a lady .... [yeah uh uh uh]
And she's busy ...... [ya kno what I mean ?]
She pays other people ... [oh yeah]
To make her cheese frizzy

Chorus :-

Delia don't do it
And you shouldn't do it
Cos if Delia don't do it
My homies won't do it

That could be really funny. I could use loads of the sounds from Jimmy Song

Ian's thoughts :- What ? No, got to steer it back to my idea

Ian email to Neil 08:38

You don't think it would be funny to do hoos and bling, but ROLC style?

My ho is totally bitchin'
My motor's really wack
My potting shed has mahogany doors
Where I can smoke my crack

I like to show everyone
My tattoos and my bling
When I'm with my hos in the ol' hot tub
We watch the cats playin with string

When watchin on the widescreen
We like Delia and the Clangers
I like to see the soup dragon
Then watch how to fry up bangers

Your bits can be the chorus.

There. That's the most rubbish RnB song ever.

Neil's thoughts :- It is a good idea. But maybe I can still push Delia. Let's go for the sympathy angle.

Neil email to Ian, 8:40

But I've written all this now ......

She's the cookin lady
And she's too busy
She pays other people
To make her cheese frizzy

Chorus :-

Delia don't do it
And you shouldn't do it
Cos if Delia don't do it
My homies won't do it
Make it easy
Use a squeasy
She's a teasy
Yo Delia !

Delia is a cutie
A sweet itty bitty
I won't cap her ass
Cos she supports Norwich City

She has deboned pork fillets
And skinless chicken legs
She mixes chilled greek yogurt
With precooked quails eggs

She made a cottage pie
Is the lady strapped for cash ?
She used a bag of chopped carrots
And frozen disks of mash

In a recent series she
Weren't keen on the film crew
She made them eat outside the house
And use a portaloo.
But when it was delivered
There was a sudden splat
Cos it had been placed upon
Her favourite pussy cat.

She ain't got time
To juice a lime
She's too crazy
To make her own gravy

Ian's thoughts :- Jees, he got those done quickly and they're not bad either. I don't want to upset him too much. Let''s pretend I like them

Ian email to Neil, 8:42

That's very funny. I think on reflection my part will be a  bit where we rap with Alicia Keys who's wearing hotpants or some kinda bikini. There are some rubbish RnB presets on the Yamaha if you'd like some
time off to be with your family?

Neil's thoughts :- What's this ? Maybe I should look for a compromise. I don't want to upset him too much. And he is offering to do the keyboards. I wonder if he even knows how to switch the Yamaha on ...

Neil email to Ian, 8:42

Maybe we combine the 2 ideas

It starts off with your lyrics about a real player who then gets addicted to watching Delia, and we go into my stuff.

And yes, the Yamaha will do as good a job. One of us should do lead vocals, then the other does the 'yeah's, 'that's what I'm talking about' etc etc   We could invent some :- 'Fry it up', 'Do it sautee style', 'gas mark 5 - no higher'

The bit about her cat is true.

Ian's thoughts :- Damn. He's called my bluff.  I bet he thinks I don't even know how to switch the Yamaha on. I wonder where the manual is.

Ian email to Neil, 8:51

Your stuff 100% but we start with a spoken voice over:

I like to show everyone
My tattoos and my bling
When I'm with my hos in the ol' hot tub
We watch De We watch Delia makin' things

Neil's thoughts :- Yes, that's a good start verse. I'll nick that and later pretend I wrote it

Neil email to Ian, 9:09

Here it is, Some of the lines are a bit poor (eg she ain't got time to squeeze a lime etc) so ditch anything you don't like.  The chorus is so inane it's spot on.

Yo ! Delia Yo!

My ho is totally bitchin'
My motor's really whack
My potting shed has mahogany doors          [should this be bullet proof ?]
For safety when I smoke crack

I like to show everyone in the hood
My tattoos and my bling
When I'm with my hos in the hot tub
We watch Delia makin' things

She is the cookin lady
But she can be too busy
So she pays other people
To make her cheese all frizzy

Chorus :-

Delia don't do it
And you shouldn't do it
Cos if Delia don't do it
My homies won't do it
Make it easy - Use a squeasy
She’s a teasy - Yo ! Delia ! Yo !

Delia is a cutie - a sweet itty bitty
Don’t cap her ass ‘cos she supports Norwich City

She gets deboned pork fillets
And skinless chicken legs
She mixes chilled greek yogurt
With precooked quails eggs

She made a cottage pie
Is the lady strapped for cash ?
She used a bag of chopped carrots
And frozen disks of mash

In a recent series I heard
She weren’t keen on the film crew
She made them eat outside the house
And use a portaloo.
But when it was delivered
There was a sudden splat
Cos it had been placed upon
Her favourite pussy cat.

She ain’t got time
To juice a lime
She’s too crazy
To make her To make her own gravy

Ian's thoughts : - Thank f*ck that's over. Let's get rid of him and do some proper work.

Ian to Neil, 9:11

Good version. I'll post on the site now.

 Neil's thoughts :- I bet he doesn't......